INSPIRATION

On Mentally Invincible: How to Lead a Fulfilling Life through Mental Strength

Brad Wilson

28 January 2018

In 2017, a winter storm destabilized a bridge that connected the north side of Big Sur, California to the outside world.

Cut off from the outside world and unable to do buy groceries in less than a 6 hour trip, the residents needed a lightning quick solution.

The government’s plan was to build a 1.5 mile walking trail over the next 6 months that would lead them to Pfeiffer State Park and circumvent the collapsed bridge.

Knowing 6 months was way too long, the residents of Big Sur said they would volunteer their time and energy in the dead of winter and help the government expedite the process.

With the residents’ concentrated effort of will, the trail was completed in 7(!!) days.

 

Epic display of mental strength

I loved hearing this story from the residents of Big Sur. It exemplifies what being Mentally Invincible is all about.

Instead of sitting back and taking the government’s response at face value they said, “Nope, we need this completed now,” and then they went and did whatever it took to make it happen.

To the government, six months may have been been their idea of a “lightning quick” solution.

However, to the people who lived in Big Sur, their children couldn’t go to school, they couldn’t go to work.

What happened if someone got seriously hurt or had a heart attack?

Their entire lives depended on that trail and they were willing to do whatever it took to overcome the problem.

For over a year if the residents of Big Sur wanted to leave, they had to hike that trail twice. 

My wife and I hiked up it and it was no joke.

The 1.5 mile length comes with an elevation gain of over 500 feet — 50 mother loving stories we had to walk up and down.

Think about that the next time you’re annoyed you have walk to your driveway to bring the groceries inside or to the curb to take out the garbage.

On being mentally strong

Maybe an obstacle has been created in your life that wasn’t your choice.

Perhaps a new hire at your job has made your once tranquil work experience absolutely unbearable.

You can sit around and wish horrible things on them, or you can come up with a solution to the problem on your own (Please don’t push them down a stairwell or spread horrible rumors about their necrophilia … Listen to my conversation with Rich Sheridan, CEO of Menlo Innovations and author of “Joy Inc.” for simple ways to increase your joy at work).

Maybe your solution is to try to get to know them better and focus on their good qualities instead of the obnoxious ones.

The other day I read a story about a woman who threw a themed party while she was in college with the theme, “People I Don’t Like”.

The only people who received invitations were people she didn’t get along with.

Guess what? She ended up having a kick-ass time and one person from that party ended up becoming one of her closest friends!

No matter what obstacles you face in life, there will always be ways you can:

(a) overcome the obstacle
(b) make peace with the obstacle by changing your perspective.

We are the ones who control our own destiny.

A closer look at what mental strength really is

With the Big Sur story that exemplifies mental strength fresh in your mind, I would like to address some life situations where we may perceive ourselves as being mentally strong but upon closer examination we are actually being weak.

These are super critical for me to go over because they’re traps that have snared me many times and cost me more precious time than I would like to think about.

It is NOT mentally strong to:

    • Stay in a marriage that is filled with contempt for 1 year or 50 years.

      There is no human on the planet that owns your right to feel happiness and joy, not even your spouse. I have seen so many people who I love continue to suffer in a miserable relationship because they think they’re doing the right thing and being strong. Real mental strength is not avoiding the issue and praying someone will change their behavior overnight. Real mental strength is addressing the issue, doing whatever is necessary to overcome it, and then having the courage to walk away if that is what is necessary.

       

    • Stay at a job that causes daily suffering because you feel you have no other option.

      We live in a world where there is no shortage of opportunities if you take the time to look around for them. One of our major goals at Mentally Invincible is to create as many possible opportunities for our readers so that they can have the freedom to spend their life on a pursuit that brings them joy.

       

    • Continually read and acquire knowledge that isn’t ever put into action in daily life.

      Don’t get me wrong. The access that we have to knowledge in the 21st century is unbelievable. But in order to unlock the power held by that knowledge we must take action.Answer me this: Who is stronger: the human who knows exactly how to increase his strength and does nothing or the human who knows close to nothing but does as many push-ups and situps as he possibly can for 30 minutes everyday?

    • Maintain toxic relationships just because they are convenient or you are afraid of confrontation.

      “When someone shows you who they are, believe them.” – Maya Angelou

      I easily love my friends. I will sacrifice for them, bleed for them, defend them, and offer them anything they need at a moment’s notice. But because I give so much, I expect much in return. If people who I consider to be friends choose to tear me down instead of build me up, or fail to be courageous when I desperately need them then “Game Over”. This is one of the toughest and most valuable life lessons I’ve have had to learn. It takes real strength to finally say, “enough is enough” and stop holding on. I promise the rewards are worth it. 

    • Sacrificing your hopes and dreams so that someone else can live theirs.

      Nobody’s hopes and dreams are worth more than our own. We are all worthy enough to live a life that brings us fulfillment and joy.

“Oftentimes, the most important and profound action we can take in our lives to show our mental strength is learning how to walk away and begin the rebuilding process.”

 If you’re ever unsure if you’re tricking yourself, here’s a quick test you can take to figure out the truth. Ask yourself the following question:

“When it comes to resolving this issue, what are my fears?”

Identifying and taking actions to overcome your fears is the bridge that leads you from feeling lost and helpless to feeling strong and empowered.

For instance you have a friendship that no longer brings you joy and now only causes you drama, grief, and frustration.

Example: This person only reaches out to you when they need something, they always dump their problems onto you (And mostly it’s the same repetitive problem that they never attempt to solve), and they never ask (nor seem to care about) you on how your life is going.

They are the trifecta of crappiness and yet you still find yourself in regular communication with this human.

What are your fears in cutting this person out of your life?

  • You don’t want to hurt their feelings.
  • You’re afraid of conflict.
  • You’re afraid it will damage your social circle.
  • You don’t have many friendships, what if they’re irreplaceable?

Once you can verbalize your fears, you can now take steps to defeat them one by one.

  • This person hurts my feelings all the time while showing zero remorse. Should they really be exempt to me hurting their feelings?

  • Attempt to resolve the issue diplomatically. Alright, this will almost certainly fail because we’re dealing with a self-centered super crappy person here but you can give it your best shot and maybe you’ll get lucky.

  • Take comfort in the fact that this person probably isn’t solely crappy to you; they are probably crappy to everyone they interact with.

    Your real friends will probably be very grateful that they have to interact with this crappy person less because of your courage. 

  • You made friends with this person (and presumably many others throughout your life), you can do it again.

    Consider where you typically have fun and make new friends. Maybe you can start incorporating more of those activities back into your life?

The thing is we all face fears and resistances everyday but we have absolute and total control over how we react.

And if you don’t think you can control your reactions, I have some good news– you can! Mental strength is a skill that can be trained and developed.

Perhaps quitting your job today is a terrible idea because you aren’t equipped for survival without it… yet.

If you work hard for 6 months with tenacity and invest your energy into the right things then I guarantee you will find a way out.

Think about it like you’re training to run a marathon. You don’t just randomly wake up one morning, kiss your spouse on the cheek, pop out of your house, and push through the 26 miles. Instead you have to start small and attempt to improve incrementally, day after day.

And then, one day in the not-so-distant future, you’re there.

 

 

So, to us here at Mentally Invincible, mental strength is the ability to lean into our fears, anxieties, and failures on a daily basis,  find the real truth of the matter, generate a plan of appropriate action that will enable us to overcome any obstacle, and then harness our willpower to follow through and TAKE ACTION.

When we are mentally strong we are able to respond to life’s curveballs with wisdom and use all challenges as stepping stones to becoming more powerful.

Mentally Invincible’s Creed

Our mission at Mentally Invincible is to build a loving and caring community that empowers one another to live a life full of joy and fulfillment. We believe we are on this earth far too briefly to spend even a single day unhappy with our existence.

We are also aware that life is confusing, dirty, and sometimes unbearable.  

*Spoiler Alert*

We don’t have all the answers and we face our own fears every single day.

Sometimes the obstacles are just too much to overcome and the fear wins.

Our sincerest hope is that the scoreboard at the end of our lives reflects that we gave it hell and laid it all on the line.  

We are going to do everything in our power to ensure you can say the same.

By sharing our wisdom through stories and creating ACTIONABLE systems, processes, books, and guides we will help you to:

  • Gain strength from any obstacles in your path.

  • Improve and generate more love in your existing relationships.

  • Blaze through your day with intense focus and energy.

  • Learn a highly valuable skill so that you can create brand new revenue streams.

  • Replace a job that causes you hopelessness and suffering with one that fills you with joy and fulfillment.

  • Overcome and defeat procrastination.

  • Join a community that promises to always build you up and never tear you down.

  • Eat better and exercise more often so that you are always operating at 100% of your cognitive abilities.

  • Make wiser decisions in the future by analyzing your previous experiences.

We are resolved to always approach life with analytical minds and attempt to conquer our daily fears one by one.

Whenever we lack the necessary experience or expertise to help our users grow in any specific area of need, we promise to seek out the most qualified experts and have them share their wisdom with our community.

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